mitski screaming into her amp on live recordings of class of 2013 my beloved

like, it isn’t musical or coherent even, its just .. augh anyway it reminded me of this poem by wanda deglane

[image ID:

you’re on the phone with your mother again, but in this dream, you are screaming endlessly endlessly endlessly. no words careen out of your broken mouth just guttural, wounded sound.

you are ceaseless, you give no room for her to respond,

but in this dream, she doesn’t feel the need to. in this dream,

she understands. /end ID]

relationships with ur parents are so weird, arent they? like... i hate you for what you did, i love you because you bring me soup when im sick. i want to get away from you. i feel safe with you. i want to run away from you. i want your hugs. i wish you understood me. i wish i understood you.

what a mother does for you out of obligation vs what a mother does for you because she wants to. the taste of a cup of coffee made from obligation vs. the taste of a cup of coffee made. did you raise me because you wanted to or did you raise me because you had to, because i was in your home and you thought, i have to put food in every mouth under this roof. did you look at me with love or did you look at me. did you ever look at me? did you ever see me? did you want to? do you want to still? if i asked you to love me would you laugh? would you ask me why? would you tell me to not ask such stupid questions? would you go to bed and wonder to yourself, why does she think i don't love her? i've done everything for her i've bathed her i've clothed her i've fed her i kept a roof over her head. isn't that love? do you even know? do you know what love looks like? did your mother love you? did she make you coffee? can you tell me what it tasted like?